We could not be more than friends

I had gone to the UK study and my brother felt I needed someone to help me settle in. So he asked his friend Donald who lived in UK to help me in whichever way he could. Donald had lived there for over 10 years so he was almost British. When he travelled about 100km to come visit me at the university, I was surprised to see him. He came with loads of stuff. He had about four paper bags filled with food, toiletries and little gifts. He even took me shopping. I was shocked! What had my brother told him, that I was a broke, starving church mouse? I was really grateful for everything he brought me and I told him so.

We became friends. He would call often and we would talk for long. I visited him too, a couple of times and we would have a good time driving around as he showed me new places and he always bought me things to go back home with. Soon, I realised that he might be falling for me. That scared me! He was a lovely person and a good friend but we were two very different people. He loved to club, drink, hang out, make noise and generally have a good time. I preferred to stay indoors, talk and have a more sedate life. He asked if we could have a relationship but I told him it could not work.

After I finished my studies I came back to Uganda. We kept up communication for a few months but it died out. After about a year, he came to Uganda for a function. We caught up, we had a good time but I continued to tell him that we could not date. I told him we were different. Also, my faith mattered a lot to me and since he did not believe in what I believed in, it could not work. Besides, long distance relationships were a no-no for me. I let him know I liked him but as a friend and could not date him. We parted amicably and he swore he would always be there for me and help me. But I think I broke his heart because ever since that time, he has not been as warm or friendly. I tried to keep in touch but he refused to reply my emails and text messages so I let him be. I still let him know when I have had momentous things happen in my life.

Many friends told me I had wasted an opportunity. Donald works for a bank and is doing well so if I had married him, I would now be living and possibly working in England and enjoying a fairly luxurious life. But marriage is not about money and luxury and fine trappings. It is about love, trust and companionship. I am not sure I would have gotten that with Donald. I am more than happy with the man I married to and I believe I made a good decision. I hope that Donald has found or will find someone to make him happy like I did because he deserves it.

Clarice